When I actually became more Christian and Buddhist in my thinking beyond any tradition or theory:

I just had a remarkable realization which is that when I was narcissistic enough to take my own life from around 18 to 25 I looked around me and saw that I could not do this to my family or friends. I realized it wasn't just about me it was about everyone. I think this is where I really became Christian and Buddhist in a real sense and not just in a theoretical sense.

I realized it didn't matter what I wanted or that I wanted out of my life here on earth and that I had to think of the real needs of my family and friends. I had already witnessed the chain reactions of suicides that often come from one taking their own life in a family or group of friends. I wanted no part in the deaths of those I loved.

So, no matter what I personally wanted I decided to "Soldier on" like a real soldier and forgetting my personal needs and thinking about the real needs of my family. From this point I could also grasp the idea of being not only a soldier for my family but also thinking of myself as a father and maybe even as a husband too in my life.

So, my moment of actually becoming Christian and Buddhist in my compassionate forgiving thinking was overcoming my desire for suicide and thinking about the needs of others instead.

I found that I left all this older kind of narcissistic thinking behind me when my son was born when I was 26. Being a family man was what I wanted anyway. Being a bachelor though I was often popular with ladies really didn't suit me long term. I needed to grow up and marriage and a family caused me at age 25 and 26 to finally grow up.

By God's Grace