If you are wondering why I'm upset lately and how sometimes it shows through my writing, it is not just the earthquake and tsunami and partial nuclear meltdowns ongoing. My best friend from age 12 until he went to the Viet Nam War is dying. We couldn't find each other again until through Yahoo I found my friend when we both were in our 40s. He is now 63 and in a coma dying from Alzheimers. Yes. It seems way to young to me too for anyone to be dying from Alzheimers. But he is my 2nd really good friend to be dying. My first friend that I knew from my age 6 1954 died in 2006. So with the death of my best junior High and High School and early college friend will end all friendships with non-relatives that existed between 1954 and 1970. So, basically there is no one left except a few cousins that I still know that I can talk to anymore regarding my ages zero to 22. This may not seem like a big thing to you. However, I was amazed when I was listening to Sirius radio satellite channel 6 today while I was driving. It brought me amazing peace to listen to soft easy listening 1960s songs (songs that you don't hear often anymore played on the radio except for this channel). So, I felt at peace and at home with myself listening to songs of a simpler time in my life than now. I was 12 to 22 from 1960 until 1970.
Like my father in law used to say while he was still alive, "Old Age ain't for sissies" He definitely got that right.
Recently I counted up just relatives and realized at least 11 relatives are gone in the last decade and now two of my closest friends are either dead or dying. It's a lot to take in and deal with without feeling like I'm someone new and because of it more alone than before. Life goes on with us or without us.
The next morning at 9 AM
Mike's sister called me at 9 am to tell me that he had passed on last Monday. This made perfect sense to me as my friend had been coming to me and talking with me since Tuesday. I told her that he had come and talked to me this week so I thought likely he had passed on. As an intuitive I can't tell for sure that someone has passed away or not by them coming and talking to me because many people like myself can do this sort of thing with friends or relatives while still alive. For example, one of the medicine men that was really powerful and a good friend and teacher used to show up in my dreams wearing a deer leather shirt jacket with fringe and I knew because of this that this was real and not just a dream. However, it takes time to try to figure out what is real and what is not for most people. But often, if friends or relatives pass away and you dream about them, it's them for real. However, for my friend Mike visiting me I was awake and walking around and he just began to talk to me about things just like he used to. This was very comforting for me as it was good to finally feel my friend was okay and on the other side safely.
I bought a 4 wheel drive truck this week and I noticed that my friend came and talked to me several times so I thought possibly he had either died or was about to as many of my friends and relatives come and talk to me when they are passing or after they have passed. There is usually a couple of months where it is sometimes easy for them to talk after they first pass away. He said he was helping me get this truck and he said this week that he was sorry that I had had a hard time with all that had led up to his passing. It was like talking to my friend when we both were teenagers and racing cars and flying gliders and planes together and hiking in the mountains and driving his dune buggy down dry washes(flash flood plains) in the desert and getting stuck and having to dig it out. I think for me, at least, death (if that is what you want to call is) is at least as interesting as life is if you are an intuitive like me.
Though I wouldn't wish on anyone how difficult it can be from birth to age 30 when I began to see it all as a blessing from God instead of both a blessing and a curse like I did when younger, I'm Glad God allows me to speak with my friends on the other side and relatives after they have passed on. Thank you God!
I'm grateful to have some peace about it all finally. This has been a real tough one for me like losing my father in 1985. When my father died I was given some peace also, because his brother (who had supposedly passed on in 1942 in a plane crash) came to me to tell me he was coming for Dad a few hours before my Dad passed away. So I called Dad on the phone and told him to look for his brother, Tommy. So then , 5 hours later my mother called crying and said Dad had passed away in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. So, I knew his brother Tommy, my uncle had come to get him. So, because I could actually see and talk to them both like this I have peace.
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