Yes. This title isn't a mistake. I wanted to convey an experience of being taken by God sort of like it was rape. For me that was what it was like. I thought I was going to die. I thought my life was over. It was. I was young and didn't understand anything yet. I do now.
It was a lot like being a young lion who was shot and eaten by a human and then becoming the human. This is the best way I can express what this experience was like for me. Being murdered, then eaten but then taking on the consciousness of the human when I was only a young wild lion. Yes. This describes it.
Do I miss being a lion? Yes. But lions don't live long and they don't know very much. So I prefer being one with God now. But then I was terrified and so afraid I shook from the trauma.
The trauma was less once I invited God to live in my body permanently, and he did.
The trauma was between ages 10 to 15. I suppose I could also say it was from birth in another sense. I almost died from whooping cough at age 2 and from childhood epilepsy from ages 10 to 15. But when I invited God to permanently live in my body with me, he did and I have been supernaturally gifted ever since. I didn't know then the consequences of asking God to live in my body. I do now but now I'm 60. The consequences of having God live in my body scared me a lot until I was about 30 when it all began to come into balance. But the basic terror of it all left when I was 15. Then I just felt I had a tiger by the tail for about 15 years and then when I met my first Tibetan Lama it all came into balance and I understood completely who and what I was and could fully experience my self in balance as an instrument of God and as a son of God. We are all sons and daughters of God. It's just that most of us aren't aware of it consciously. We put God outside of ourselves. But always in reality this is a lie.
The truth is that God is everything in the universe including us and that it is not useful in any way shape or form to see ourselves as separate from God in any way. Nor is it useful in any way to see ourselves as separate from any other part of life in the universe. There Is Only God. There is nothing else! Yes. There is separation if you believe it. But that is only really a lie. There is only God and nothing else in reality.
I was reading the last 1/3 of the Book "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert.
There is a story of the Balinese Medicine man in Ubud, Bali, Indonesia that she is studying with after living in Italy and India. He tells the story of how he wanted to become an artist because this was his talent but one day he was painting his masterpiece for a rich New York type patron when he oil lamp caught fire and his painting arm caught fire. He went to the hospital and they recommended that he have his arm cut off as they couldn't save it. However, for 9 generations the men in his family had been Balinese medicine men, healers, respected by most Balinese traditional people. In a dream his father, Grandfather and Great GRandfather came to him and told him then how to heal his burned arm so it wouldn't have to be cut off. They also told him that he must also be a medicine men like they had been because God had chosen him for this purpose. When he woke up he did as they said and his arm healed and he didn't have to have it cut off. He became a medicine man and he now says this profession is not only his profession but also his hobby. he loves helping people.
God has always come through me to heal peoples spirits all my life. I didn't really have to touch them physically to help them. Though often because I came up through the 1960s and flower children(I was 21 in 1969) I have always hugged people this always seemed to heal people when I did this because I always hug people while experiencing God. Though this might make people feel faint God tempers this response in people leaving them happy or feeling friendship instead.
I can remember going to many parties when I was single and under 25 years old. Back then among flower children and yes, some were educated hippies one had to hug everyone at that party as a part of the ambiance of my generation. There were always about 25% of the people I really didn't want to hug both male and female. But still all this hugging kept many people alive. I wish this custom still existed like it did then. It keeps many people alive who don't have a lover or really close friend. Sometimes 10 people would all hug each other at once at these times. Hugging is very healing or was during the idealism then. Many people looking in from the outside who weren't a part of the hugging culture thought it was just sexual. This is not true. Though man might turn on his animal magnetism if he was hugging 100 people at a party for certain girls, generally sexuality really wasn't the point. It was friends communing with friends. It was a very healing time both for flower children and educated hippies. There was just so much death(at least 50,000 draftees in Viet Nam and 250,000 wounded) that were our brothers and friends that every moment we had we rejoiced that we were still alive and not physically or mentally or emotionally dead like many we knew that came back home during those crazy times.
So, by giving me Childhood epilepsy God first almost killed me then saved me from Viet Nam because I was the age(born 1948) of the highest amount of deaths and casualties from the Viet Nam War. So God first almost killed me then blessed me and kept me home from that awful awful war so I am still a whole person and not half like everyone I knew who fought on the front lines. All my friends who came back were no longer boys, they seemed mostly like walking dead men and strangers to me then. These were very hard times.
So, since God raped and killed me as a child I have prospered as a young man and as an older man now. I am grateful for the blessings and life he graced me with. And I am most of all grateful that he took my life away so that I could be one of his healing instruments that it took me so many years to completely understand.
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