coping with mortality

 I found writing much easier when I was younger as I'm now 75 years old. I think it has something to do with Hope and dreams. There is a saying which is "Young men have visions but old men dream dreams".

I understand this more now. My son talks about what life is like with this story.

When you are young it is like you are thrown out of an airplane at altitude. The clouds are pretty and you are little and everything is new. But, about in your mid 30s or so you begin to see the ground is coming up pretty fast and eventually you are going to hit the ground and that will be it. This is where middle Aged Crazy sets in where you have to face your mortality for the first time (if you haven't faced it before). This changes everything and then you are worried more about hitting the ground maybe than what is going on in your life."

This is a pretty good description of what happens to people who are realistic enough about all this in their lives at least.

My experience was hitting this middle Aged Crazy somewhat early at age 37 with the death of my father. In a sense I realized I hadn't completely grown up yet and was still living the fantasy of life that people under about 35 are often known for if they haven't faced death very much yet in their lives. So, for me, 37 to 50 was very difficult for me trying to deal with the sudden loss of my father when everyone thought he would be the most likely to live to 100 years of age because he was so organic and health food and exerceise oriented. 

But then, At 50 I got a heart virus (likely from getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist's) and almost died for about 9 months time and was forced to retire. Most people with heart viruses died then in 1998 from this sort of thing so I was the exception and doctors were basically amazed I lived through this at all. 

But, what happened to me is I learned to be grateful for EACH moment of life I had left rather than to be worrying about dying all the time. This being grateful for each moment you have left with your family and friends is the key to a long life I find. So, I'm grateful God almost had to kill me to teach me this new amazing way to live.

By God's Grace