Sunday, October 7, 2007

Life is what it is when you're there

Life is what it is when you're there. When I was a child this was a very hard concept to grasp because of all the truisms being dumped on me at once. Everything seemed conditional. So "Get up and make your bed or I won't fix you breakfast" or "Pick up your toys or you can't go outside" became the conditional rules of the game for that moment in life.

Later when I was 6 to 9 years old it was, "If you don't go to church with us you can't watch TV all week." That was a big one for me because we didn't have a TV until 1954 when I turned 6 in Tujunga California near the mountains on the outskirts of the Los Angeles area. So I went to church and walked down the main church aisle waving a little American flag while the adults sang, "Onward Chrstian Soldiers" and then we all pledged our allegiance to the American flag. I remember at age 6 thinking "One nation under God and to the elephant for which we stand." I remember wondering about that. Eventually I realized it was "and to the republic for which we stand.". Whenever we church youthlets walked down the aisle while they were singing "Onward Christian Soldiers" the adults singing and praying really seemed to see us as Christian soldiers like little Jesuses walking down the aisle. I remember feeling more than a little intimidated by this as I was forced to do this although all the attention and adulation was very ego gratifying. I knew these people prayed for me and the other children both there and when they went home. I've found the more people one has praying for one the better as long as those people praying are compassionate prayers as I grew up.

When I got older at say 10 years old I would say, "I'm not feeing well don't make me go to church." Sometimes that would work and sometimes it wouldn't. At 10 I got childhood epilepsy and so got a lot more attention and sympathy from this ailment. My experience of it was very strange. Once every 6 months or so when I was stressed out about doing well on a test at school I would have a nightmare and my nightmare would become real in that I would almost die in a seizure. My experience was that I did die during the seizure and then I would wake up leaning against a wall and sitting on the floor shaking. My parents were very worried about me surviving to adulthood. I got a lot of sympathy and my parents realizing that stress caused these seizures stopped pressuring me so much to get straight A's in all my subjects. So I found I had more time to think about things. One of the things I thought about then was suicide because I wasn't sure if I was going to grow up at all. So if I didn't have a future then suicide seemed the logical option.

However, by age 14 I was finally terrified enough by these experiences of dying and found both religion and God and went to my parents church about 3 or 4 times a week so I could bring God into my body with me to the point where I would stop these seizures. This happened when I was about 15. However, there I was with God living in my body with me just like an old Testament Prophet and now what was I going to do? So I finally realized I was only going to be allowed to live in a human body if God lived in my body with me so I just accepted it. My physical appearance suddenly changed after that and all sorts of girls and women started falling in love with me. At first this made me jealous because I knew they were falling in love with God in my body. But after a time I just accepted that God and I were like husband and wife in the same body so we were the same person. I just accepted the God-Fred Fusion after that because it was the pragmatic thing to do.(Life is what it is when you're there).

However, I felt very conflicted in an idealistic sense. There is a story I have heard about someone who goes to the Himalayas to find a wise man and when he gets there he asks the wise man, "What is the secret of Life?" The wise man says, "God decisions." The seeker says, "But how do I make good decisions?" The wise man says, "Bad decisions." This was also my life in my teens trying to figure out what to do with God in my body with me because most other teens hadn't invoked God consciously in their bodies yet and some might never have the need to because they would always be like children even as adults.

I realized that the average person I met could not do what I could because they hadn't invoked God into their bodies so that it was not an even playing field. So I resolved not to be in competition in any way with people who literally had no way to compete with God. So I resolved to be like an older brother or father like being to all beings who could accept me in this way. I resolved not to scare people with my divine gifts unless they were threatening my life or the lives of my friends or relatives. And even then I would only scare them. I wouldn't really harm them in any way. This experience would only tend to bring them to God and their own personal experiences with God, Jesus and the Angels.

What I'm really writing about here is my slow shift from the idealism of youth to the pragmatism of someone with experience who is doing everything in their power to keep their family, friends, neighbors and civilization in a direction that is beneficial to all beings who live on earth and beyond.

So, it is my experience that even as adults there are adults who are children, there are adults who are adults and there are adults who are avatars and then are adults who are like Jesus or Angels incarnate. If there is a good reason I will ascertain which category a person is in while I'm around them in the first 5 or 10 seconds I'm in there presence. This is important because the state of consciousness of a person radiates from them so it can be read like a book by someone like myself. So how I talk to one type of state of consciousness is different than how I would talk to someone in a different state of consciousness.

I sometimes meet babies that are Avatars or incarnate angels and I can telepath with them and I am incredibly blessed. Since all such things are always a circle it always becomes infinite mutual blessings for all involved.

When I was a child growing up the most important thing seemed to be idealism. However, as a full adult the most important thing seems to be compassion with wisdom and pragmatism. In other words the compassionate wisdom born of long experience. Life is what it is when you're there.

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