Monday, March 29, 2010

Revisiting my past

My son hadn't seen his biological mother in 7 years because he lives in southern California going to one of the California Universities with a Nursing School. Since this is his last Easter Vacation before he  gets his RN next December and she lives in Sisikiyou County at the Oregon Border. I said, "You need to go see your mother, son, because I don't know how much longer she will be on earth. She lives in her motor home with her boyfriend through temperatures outside as low as zero. I'm not sure how long she can go just with the thin walls of a motor home. Weekend Warriors is one thing but winter after winter takes a lot out of people in their late 50s and early 60s in those low temperatures.

So, he agreed with me because the last time he saw his Bio-Mom was when he married his first wife 7 years ago in the SF Bay Area.

Have you ever been in the position where you financially could help someone in your life but having no useful practical way to do it? Well. This is what this is like for me. It really brings home the addage, "Money isn't everything!"

So, helping my son get to see  his mother(possibly one last time) is the most practical thing I can do in real life in real time.

His mother and I were together from Easter 1973 until the 4th of July 1977. We married in April 1974 one month before our son was born. We broke up while we were living in Mt. Shasta, California in the summer of 1977 and she gave me full custody of our 3 year old son. She was 22 when we first got together and 26 when we broke up. She has always told me that she thought breaking up with me was the worst single mistake of her life.  We had three very difficult years (1977 to 1980) before we became friends again. When I married a lady my age (32 in 1980) my first wife became my friend again. She had been married to a very famous artist who had gotten his start in Mt. Shasta. After that she met a Musician from France and moved there with him and didn't return to the U.S. until her father was dying. After he died she sort of lost it for a while and I was very worried about her surviving for several years. But always my first wife (after 1980) was like a sister to me that I tried to help take care of (so my son wouldn't have to worry about her so much).

I think it was hard for my son after is first marriage disintegrated 3 years ago as I think he felt he failed his birth mother and step mother who both attended his wedding as did I.  He just got married  again last year to a lady becoming a nurse like him that is 12 years younger than he. (he is 35 now).  He is very much of a southern California guy now and used to the speediness of life and talking of people who live there now.  Since I grew up mostly in Los Angeles County in Glendale from 1956 until 1969(when I was 8 to 21 years of age) I was really happy to get away from all the smog and traffic in late 1969. My parents had moved to Poway in San Diego County so I moved to that area and went to several colleges in the area over the next 7 years. My first wife and I got together there in 1973 around Easter and my son was conceived that summer. I was 25 and I think she was 21 or 22 but had been on her own since she was 16 in Berkeley, Los Angeles and Hilo, Hawaii with her first boyfriend(He is remarried and now lives in Beijing as a businessman with his wife and two daughters).

I find it interesting that my first wife and my son can still be happy like a family and still get along much like we always did when things were good. It amazes me sometimes just how unusual life can be.

We visited yesterday a lake where we took my son when he was a baby. And today we visited Bunny Flats (me on metal edged Mountaineering skis and they on my snowshoes and my present wife's snowshoes) as there was 6 to 10 feet of snow there at around 7000 to 8000 feet on Mt. Shasta. It was snowing and turning into a whiteout that reminded me of 1970 when I almost froze to death and died there on Christmas vacation 1970. My two college buddies and I only survived because we dug a snow cave and sealed the entrance so we could keep the air into the 40s and 50s. (If you round the top of the cave and build a slight platform the moisture runs down the walls and doesn't wet your sleeping gear. At that time we didn't know this trick about staying dry or the candle you light to lift the air temperature. However, don't seal off all the air unless you want to go to sleep and not wake up.

Anyway, today we took some pictures of each other because the whiteout allowed us to still see about 10 feet in all directions. We navigated by following the ski tracks of other skiers. I finally located the site of an amazing ufo experience there in 1974 that three of us adults and my baby all witnessed. But that is an entirely different story. Today I'm just trying to make sense of my life in the 1970s. But, of course today it is 2010 and I will be 62 in April.

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