Confronting Terrors

The single most terrifying thing I have ever had to deal wtih (outside of every day life) is Blunt Trauma Childhood Epilepsy. At the time I was 10 to 15 years old and didn't expect to live through this. Because each time I had a seizure like this it was like being strangled and then murdered. Then about an hour or so later you wake up from the dead of a seizure and coma like experience.This likely wouldn't have been survivable in my 30s because this much trauma would have caused a stroke or heart attackin someone in their 30s and they just would have died right there no questions asked. But,for a child, though you might be terrified literally out of your mind, children have a way often of surviving really awful and terrifying experiences when adults could not. Like when there is a car accident and the only one to survive the accident is a baby, like that.

This is how God came into my life when I literally had nowhere else to turn. What is attacking you is inside your brain and body, there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide because it is all inside of you killing you.

People often say that Jesus likely was epileptic too. Because there are certain Types of spiritual growth that one likely cannot accomplish unless they are terrified out of their minds by circumstances beyond there present control.It forces one to use the deepest and most powerful of our spiritual gifts to even survive one more moment or one more day.

So, even now, I find no one can match me on these levels that I meet because they just haven't suffered in this way like I have. Because most people suffering like I did then are dead now. Because you cannot survive something like this in your 30s without a stroke or heart attack and death most of the time. (There are always exceptions to every rule in life I have always found).

So, I invoked God to live in my body with me in a desperate attempt to stay alive when I was 15. This worked but my physical appearance completely changed with in a few months so I didn't even look like the same person anymore and girls started chasing me around because God lived inside of me. And at first I was jealous of God attracting all these women to me. But then I realized he wanted me to help them all, so I learned to do that over time too.

I realized that God wanted me to be kind to and to take care of women whenever I could sort of like a chivalrous knight or something or maybe an archangel or something. So, I learned to do as God wished in this way and so he became pleased with me and stayed living in me and surrounded me with angels both spiritual ones and physical ones. This was overwhelming for me in every way.

Over the years I have become more comfortable with God living in my body with me and have become Grateful that I invoked God to live in my body with me when I was 15 both in order to stay alive but also to help do God's work upon the earth 24 hours a day since I was 15.

By God's Grace

I was 15 in 1963