I have to write about Philando Castile, the 32-year-old black man who was shot and killed …
It’s happening again.
I
have to write about Philando Castile, the 32-year-old black man who was
shot and killed by a Minnesota police officer last July. I have to
compose myself, sit at this laptop and write something profound about
another black life taken by a police officer, another officer found not
guilty for killing a black person.
And, you know, I have nothing much to say.
On Friday, St. Anthony police Officer Jeronimo Yanez was found not guilty in Castile’s death. In audio recording from
just before the encounter, Yanez can be heard saying: “I’m going to
stop a car. I’m going to check IDs. I have reason to pull it over. The
two occupants just look like people that were involved in a robbery.”
“The
driver looks more like one of our suspects, just ’cause of the wide-set
nose,” Yanez continues. He later confirmed that he believed Castile
matched the description of a suspect, something cops often say about
black men.
Yanez
pulled the car over. Things escalated. Yanez shot seven times into the
vehicle. He thought Castile was reaching for his weapon, a gun that
Castile was licensed to carry and that he had informed the officer about moments before. Castile’s girlfriend, Diamond Reynolds, says he was reaching for his wallet. She began filming on her phone.
The resulting video, with Castile bleeding to death on camera as
Reynolds calmly complies with the officer’s screamed instructions, is
impossible to forget.
The
officer was placed on leave. The officer was charged. And now, nearly a
year later, the officer is acquitted and goes home to his family,
unlike his victim.
It’s almost textbook.
At least
991 people were shot and killed by police in 2015, and
no officers were convicted. Video footage showed the questionable deaths of
Terence Crutcher,
Tamir Rice and
Freddie Gray, to name a few. But that also didn’t lead to any convictions.
Justice Department investigations into police departments nationwide ― most notably in
Baltimore,
Chicago,
Cleveland and
Ferguson, Missouri ― have found widespread systemic issues and evidence of officers routinely violating the rights of citizens.
Like
a number of black people, I am traumatized by this ― to the point where
I expect there to be no justice, no ramifications, no fucks given when a
black person is killed by a police officer. Every time this happens, my
stomach twists into knots. I want to scream, but I can’t.
When I think about how Castile, an elementary school cafeteria worker, was pulled over 46 times
before the traffic stop that took his life, I get angry. Actually, I
get pissed the hell off. I am tired. I am sick. And it hurts to think
that Castile could have been my father, my boyfriend, my brother, my
cousin or my nephew, who just started driving this year.
But
I also feel selfish for turning inward and thinking about all the black
men close to me when I see Castile’s mother, Valerie, on national
television: gripped with righteous anger, but fighting back the pain
long enough to get her point across.
“The
system continues to fail black people,” she said Friday after the
verdict. “My son loved this city, and this city killed my son. And the
murderer gets away! Are you kidding me right now?”
“We’re not evolving as a civilization,” she added. “We’re devolving. We’re going back down to 1969.”
It sure seems like it.
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