When Life is Death and Death is Life

When Life is Death and Death is Life. It is 5 am and my mother's ghost is haunting me. However, my mother is not dead. But I wouldn't call her alive either. She is 89 years old, in a senile dementia and alzheimer's rest home. My experience of my mother since 2001 when she got so out of it she almost burned down her apartment has been a 24 hour a day living horror movie for me.

All my wonderful memories of my mother have been turned to shit from this hell experience. I watched my mother start to get goofy in spring 2001 when she rode in my car to a large park while we listened to the radio. She banged her hand against the inside of the door of my car while I looked on in horror while she screamed "Where are the words?" over and over in a completely insane way until her hand was black and blue.I grabbed her hand to stop her from injuring herself but whenever I let go she just started up again. That is where this evil began. However, it has gotten progressively worse since then both for her and for me.

In a third world country my mother would be dead 5 to 7 years ago. That would have been a blessing both for her and for me. However, the laws of this country force her to stay alive and make both of our lives hell. For me, there is NOTHING positive about what has happened to her or me. People say, "Oh, the sanctity of life!" I say, "Bullshit! Without quality if life there is only death and misery!"

I say, "What the government has done to my mother is evil. In forcing my mother to stay alive only EVIL has been done. People who don't want to experience what my mother and I have been through have done this to us. THIS is ONLY evil!.

I have pretty much stopped visiting my mother as a practical way to stay sane so I can be there for my wife and children. But I say to you and I ask you to think of your older loved ones when I say this to you. NOTHING GOOD HAS COME FOR ANYONE FROM KEEPING MY MOTHER ALIVE IN THIS STATE!