Pragmatism and Love

I learned this the "Hard Way" and most young people also learn this the hard way like I did.

But, after living 68 years now, 69 later this year this is what I have learned.

Love is great between two people.

But, if both or at least one of them isn't pragmatic then this relationship is doomed from the start.

In real life it's not just about love, it's about timing.

For example, there was lady I was in love with from 17 to 19 (really always) that I realized I wasn't going to grow up fast enough to be with as her husband. She was ready to get married by about 20 or 21 and she did to someone about 25 then I believe. So, this was a heartache for me because timing wasn't working in my favor even though we were going steady from my age 16 to my age 18.

And I wasn't even mature enough at the time to really get all this yet even by 20 or 21. It took me until about age 25 to realize I had been in love with at least 2 or 3 people at the same time during this period which I wouldn't have thought was possible. So, this is one reason why I was really grateful I didn't marry anyone then because I wasn't grown up enough yet. I finally married for the first time in 1974 because my live in girlfriend was pregnant. My son is now 42 and married and has my grandson and is living overseas at present with his family.

So, this all was how life taught me pragmatism. So, life isn't just about love, (Even though that is important too) it is about timing and pragmatism.

So, questions need to be seriously asked.

Do you love this person?
Do you have any way to financially survive a life together?
Are you compatible long term sexually and as friends?
Unless the answer to all these questions and more is "YES!"
Then likely this relationship is eventually doomed.

And the problem is if you embark on a non-workable relationship it might not only destroy the other person but also your life as well.

I know this is heavy stuff but if you don't ask the REALLY HARD questions you have no business being together at all long term.

This is just reality.

This is the pragmatic reality we all must face one way or another.

And we all know many people who didn't ask these questions and the results destroyed their lives.

So, being both compassionate and practical in the end is even more important than actually being in love with someone.