Since I am not a woman even though I think I understand women better than about 90% of the men I meet, I am a man and can speak to that.
For a man, often sex is sort of like food. Either a man is satiated(rare), starving(relatively normal) or looking for food.
Many religions consider sex a sin. I think that is stupid. I don't think sex is a sin it is necessary for sanity for most people. And denying people a useful outlet only makes them slaves to whatever religion, church or philosophy that is controlling their behavior and minds.
So, I believe that sanity is to be physically faithful to one's significant other if they have one. However, I also believe that one's dreams and fantasies are a private thing that no religion and no person should have control over these dreams and fantasies other than the person having these dreams or fantasies.
Can some sexual fantasies or dreams become harmful? Yes. But most of the people who are like that aren't ever going to be completely sane anyway. They have been so abused in one way or another in their lives that only serious psychological or pharmacological help will succeed for them.
But if someone has had a relatively normal life growing up, a healthy sexual fantasy life (whether one is married or not) allows that person to grow in healthy ways. To prevent healthy fantasies is only to stifle that person's useful abilities in life.
Yes. It is true that sexual fantasies involving torture, maiming and death should not be tolerated. But these kinds of fantasies usually spring from abuse as a child. And so, to get beyond this one needs serious psychological counseling and possibly medication in order to prevent harm to oneself or others or animals.
But, like I said, if a person is having relatively healthy fantasies, this can create a very useful, functioning adult in all cultures of the world, as long as one can remain faithful to one's significant other or spouse at the same time.
To the best of my ability I write about my experience of the Universe Past, Present and Future
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