Tuesday, September 25, 2007

To Die With My Boots On

To Die With My Boots On. I've always had a fantasy of one day realizing that I'd just had enough life maybe at say 80 or 90. And that I would drive in my car or take a bus if I was no longer driving some winter day and go to Mt. Shasta where my Dad's ashes are and walk into the snowstorm on the mountain and never come back. Now, I realize this is fantasy because the reality is that if you have a wife or significant other, if you have kids you care about and are close to, if you have friends that you care about, you wouldn't be able to do this because it could harm them or cause one of them to suicide in losing you in this way.

However, I have told my wife that I refuse to ever go to an old folks home and that she should expect me to go missing in a snowstorm because if I can't live at home then my home is the snowstorm and I would feel sorry for those who found my body half eaten by some fox, wolf, coyote, dog or Turkey vulture. So, given the choice, for me the choice would be the snowstorm.

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