Youthful Terrifying Experiences

Youthful terrifying experiences. I'm writing this as a kind of warning to you who are intuitively gifted. This was a part of what I had to endure in my teens to survive to the present.

I was 15. After I had invoked God into my body powerfully through intense prayer and begging help from God on my knees something extremely powerful happened, my seizures at night during nightmares ceased never to return again. In place of this came a tremendous internal God power that terrified and frightened me to the core. This is why it reminds me of the experiences of Prophets in the Old Testament. Having God powerfully manifest through your mind and body is not something to trifle with or even play with. It was beyond anything I had ever imagined. As I walked around it was common to know what other people were thinking and feeling.

After my physical appearance changed during the next few months of invoking God into my body girls my age were suddenly very attracted to me. I had very mixed feelings about this as I knew it was God in my body with me that they were attracted to and not necessarily just me so I began to feel jealous. Soon, I got over this and just accepted that God and I were one being. So I began to see myself as a fusion of my own self and God manifest in the same body on earth. I experienced literally being the "Bride of God" in my own body. This is a very different experience than I can fully explain to you. The end result however, is that I now for the last 45 years or so see the aspect that God manifested in my body and my old self as one evolving spiritual and physical being. That is the best way I can put it.

Though the part with girls was very intoxicating there were other aspects that were just terrifying in an ongoing way. For example, I didn't know at that time that there are such things as protecting angels or as the Tibetan Buddhists call it Tutelary dieties which are similar things in the end. Protecting angels tend to be with swords of flame and shields whereas the Tibetan tutelary dieties look like ancient tibetan soldiers which remind me a lot of samurai soldiers in stance and attitude though they are bound by many of the same rules as protecting angels. The end result is that they protect incarnating highly developed souls from violation by less aware souls. In other words they protect less aware souls from harming themselves by interfering with someone who God has ordained to to specific powerful works.

So my experience was that if people teased me for being "Cosmic Fred" I, because I have specific covenants with God was not allowed to physically retaliate unless I was physically attacked. So the tutelary dieties (that I didn't know about then) would cause broken arms, legs
or concussions to these people after they had verbally been abusive to me.

However, now when I look back on all this I realize it is exactly what happens when people interfere with royalty, stars, politicians. Their bodyguards rough the interfering people up a bit. However, then I was horrified by this. If, for example, I was working at a part time job and saw this happen to someone I felt really bad and quit the job so nothing else bad happened to them. Because I knew it was because of their ignorance that they had been injured. I felt like they were one of my children and that I had to protect them somehow even though they had been verbally abusive to me.

It wasn't until I met my first Tibetan Lama that I began to understand and the Lamas taught me how to protect the ignorant from these kinds of experiences. So it wasn't until my early 30's that I was taught how to protect people from my protectors. I guess I had to grow up and become fully the empowered being that God had intended before I was allowed to protect those who were ignorant of the consequences of their actions.

I found out that for an unenlightened being to cause harm to an enlightened one is terrible karma. So actually, the protecting angels (or tutelary dieties) are actually protecting the innocent souls as much as they are protecting the enlightened ones.