Thursday, February 12, 2009

Being a Writer

There are people who say that unless you write every day you are not a writer. However, I believe you are a writer if you believe you are and if it is your identity. I don't think it really has anything to do with whether you get paid for it or not just like there are many artists and musicians who are artists and musicians whether or not they even try to get paid for it.

So, in the end you are what you believe you are. If you have to write, do art, write or sing or play music then you are a writer, an artist, a musician or a singer. If you are doing what you need to do and you identify with it then you are what you think you are and are doing what you need to do to stay alive and sane and that is in the end what is important. That you keep blood flowing in your veins and you express yourself and you stay alive and do or say or sing what helps you and others stay alive too.

I grew up singing, playing piano, organ. Then later I learned pipe organs, keyboards, and then taught myself silver flute, recorder, guitar, then 12 string, electric etc. However, when my father died when I was 37 in 1985 it made me sad. And since I'm not a blues singer or player, music just made me feel crazy a lot of the time after my father's passing. So I'm very careful when I play music or sing that I am in the right frame of emotion and mind not to trigger grieving and sadness that I have no way to contain in any useful way. This year my mother died after 7 years of senile dementia. It was easier to watch her go since she was no longer anyone I knew or she knew anymore. She didn't even know who she or I was for at least 2 years before she passed away. Her ashes sit either on my grand piano or on the large bookshelf built into the wall next to the piano until my son gets out of college and we decide where to put her ashes in a more permanent way. (I have a friend in her 80's who still has her mother's ashes with her after more than 20 years). There appear to be many people like this as well. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

All 3 of my wives(one at a time) have been artists. I think this is partly because I have always been a frustrated artist. Even though I have always been a very talented musician and singer I never really wanted to go professional as that really wasn't who I was. But I have always wanted to be more of an artist and it has given me great satisfaction that my wives were great artists.

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