Understanding Epilepsy

I was one of the lucky ones. I survived Childhood epilepsy. I started having seizures about 1 every 6 months that started when I had a newspaper route when I was 10(always at night in a nightmare). They were very difficult to emotionally, psychologically and physically survive. However, when I found God and invited him into my body they permanently stopped at age 15. However, God never left and this was very scary at first until I got used to it because it brought amazing psychic gifts that are often a part of being an epileptic if you don't take medicine.

For those who take medicine to suppress seizures psychic gifts are covered over by the medicine. So many don't like to take the medicine because they only feel half alive when they take the medicines. For them, they only feel half normal if medicated.

However, having a seizure is worse. The most terrifying thing for an epileptic is a seizure. It is much more terrifying than dying for me. It is about 100 times worse than the thought of being stabbed repeatedly with a knife until dead. It is terrifying because the experience is like being taken over by something other than yourself and losing.

So, for you who haven't had a seizure, for me it is like drowning or smothering to death, then an hour or so waking up shaking all over uncontrollably often having injured your head or mouth or face seriously if no one was there to cradle your head during the seizure to prevent injury.

In olden days when Napoleon, Michaelangelo, and Alexander the Great had it, it was called the King's disease because it made these people very psychic and they could project their charisma to the masses. For example, an epileptic might make an excellent actor, or singer or even leader today if their seizures could be controlled. Only those closest to Napoleon knew he was epileptic and if he had a seizure they would send everyone away and form a circle around him.

In Alexander the Great's time they thought he was a God anyway so they just thought this was what God's did.

However, in todays in some ways less uneducated and less mysterious world epileptics still are discriminated against if it is found out that they are epileptics. So most epileptics try to hide their ailment in the hopes of having a normal life.

About 50% of lifelong epileptics are able to control their seizures enough to drive cars, have children, get married and live normal lives. The other 50% either die or stay at home or on the streets. This is very difficult to write about for me.

When I was 10 and had my first seizure my mothers Scottish Celtic reaction was that I must be someone very special. Because in her Celtic tradition epileptics were healers and spiritual people and often saved their families and tribes.

My father's reaction was the opposite and at the time I thought my father was ashamed of me. Because he never would allow me or my mother to ever talk about it with anyone, only a doctor. That is all. It has taken me years to understand that my father wasn't ashamed of me, he was just trying to assure that I could have a normal life and I did because of his attitude. Because he forbade me to talk about it I got a driver's license and I was on my way. However, conveniently, my last ever seizure was at age 15.

So, I feel free to talk about my experiences here knowing full well that I am now 60 and haven't had a seizure since I was 15. However, it still kept me out of the military during the Viet Nam War for which I am now very grateful.

Though I was an A student up to about 6th grade, my parents expected less of me when I started to have seizures about once every 6 months at night during a nightmare. They knew that what triggered seizures is often mental and emotional stress.

I have known epileptics that scream to stop their seizures. I have known other epileptics that have had sex to stop their seizures. For some epileptics both things work. For some, one of those things works.

An epileptic seizure is basically too much electricity in the brain. The brain experiences and electrical overload and has to vent electricity somehow so the brain doesn't die. So it causes seizures which cause the muscles of he body to spasm for 5 to 15 minutes. So if a person is standing, driving a car, walking, or swimming that person could die. If one is just sleeping like the only times I had a seizure one usually just winds up on the floor and hopefully someone was there to cradle my head so I don't lose teeth against a table or wall or don't lose an eye or a nose.

My worst seizure was when I was 14 and it almost killed me. When it started I tried to run for my parents room but this was a bad idea because I couldn't see.(Grand mal seizures make you completely unconscious for 5 to 15 minutes). So I wound up meeting the edge of the door to my room at a run with my nose. This broke my nose and I woke up with a pool of blood surrounding my head and my parents were totally freaked out at the carnage. I had to have minor plastic surgery to repair my nose(wooden popcycle sticks up my nose to reset the bones) but it turned out okay because I didn't lose any teeth. Everything was repairable. However, this almost killed me and I knew I likely wouldn't survive another one like that. That was a given.

My father said, "You've got to get some religion under your belt, son!" I took him seriously and went to church about 4 times a week to survive this and I invoked God to live in my body with me. God never left and my seizures ended within the next year because God was there.

Most people aren't forthcoming about having epilepsy because they don't want to be classified with the epileptics that can't legally drive and work at jobs and have to sometimes walk around with crash helmets on because their seizures are so bad and regular. And every seizure might be the end of their life on earth.

So, you can see why those who can function and who can control their seizures do so they can drive, get married, have children, have careers, go to college, travel the world etc.

It is my hope that you have a better understanding of what it is like to be an epileptic and why epileptics tend to be secretive about their illness. They just want to have a normal life like you if they can.

I am grateful to only have had 5 years of seizures that ended when I was 15. If it had been more serious I couldn't write all this for you to better understand epilepsy.