My Life

 In my mid 40s my 2nd wife and I divorced and I found it very difficult to be divorced in my mid 40s especially after being married (except for 2 years) to my first and 2nd wife since I was 26 years old. So, now basically it's 20 years later and I felt emotionally destroyed by this turn of events. I wondered if I could survive on any level what I was going through and wasn't sure one way or another at the time. But, I appear to be made of stronger stuff than most people tend to be and so I first prayed for exactly the kind of person I needed in my life. The two things I most needed was first someone who is practical about life, 2nd someone who would be kind to me so I wouldn't become passive aggressive in a new relationship.

Luckily, at the same time I was praying for the perfect person to be in my life my present wife was also praying for someone exactly like me. But, when she met me she thought I was married because I introduced her to my then 5 year old then youngest daughter. 

Finally, one day my friend told her that I wasn't married but instead was going through a horrific divorce and that I was trying to get full custody of my 5 year old daughter at the time just like I was given custory of my three year old son in 1977. The year then was 1994. I can remember a funny conversation I had with my now wife when she said to me: "I don't want to date anymore men unless they want to have a baby with me." She next said, "I cannot believe I just said that to you."

I then said to her: "I will have a baby with you." and she almost fainted at my directness.

However, I meant it but maybe where I was coming from was quite different than where she was coming from. My point of view at the time was sort of: "I'm likely not going to survive this time in my life so yes I will have a baby with you if that is what you want." Which is likely not what she was ready to hear at that time in her life.

But, in the long run this all worked out for both of us and my 2 other biological children that I also have a good relationship with even now at 75 years of age.

This my 3rd wife saved my life by insisting that I have full health care insurance so when I got a heart virus about 5 years later I didn't die or go bankrupt having a serious health issue.

I would recommend that anyone who doesn't want to die or go bankrupt from health reasons to make sure you have full health insurance from about age 40 years old on. Otherwise you could either die and or go bankrupt and lose your home or everything you own otherwise.

I would say always have full health insurance from age 40 onward if you want to survive to old age even if it is medi-Cal if you live in California. I think the laws are such that even if you own a small business in California you can still get Medi-Cal. But that isn't what I did because I was in a different situation then in my late 40s than that at that point in my life.