Ferreting out the truth:

Is hard for all of us.

I think finding the truth in relationships might be the hardest in all of this. For example, it is hard not to project the traumas of our youth and life upon a significant other.

So, in order to be happy in ANY relationship we first must learn to be honest with ourselves. Though one might be completely sincere, if they aren't being honest with themselves about something in their lives, then that relationship is often doomed from the start.

So, no matter how happy that relationship is temporarily, because of one partner's dishonesty with himself or herself it can doom the relationship because relationships only work well in a field of honesty.

However, there is honesty and then there is politeness. And discernment has to be used to separate these two things.

YOU have to be very very careful what you say to your significant other because of wounding in that person's life.

So, you have to put yourself into that person's shoes often in order to keep your relationship functioning well.

I always say it is ten times harder (or more) to make a relationship work ongoing than to run any business because of all the emotional dynamics one is dealing with.

So, it depends upon how much you need your relationship to continue, regarding how much effort you will put into the well being of your significant other.

But, both need to be working on truth for a relationship to work. IF certain things are hidden the relationship is almost always doomed.

For example, unfaithfulness almost always comes out in the end to the detriment of the relationship even if people choose to stay together after that.

So, I would say truth is the most important regarding long term relationships.

But, without enough truth in regard to almost anything, (the people perish).

When I was young I always looked for sincerity in people. But, after I reached my 30s I realized there are all these sincere people often lying to themselves. And when they lie to themselves they cannot help but also lie to others.

So, watch out for apparently sincere people who are seriously lying to themselves. They always show up as the sweetest of people but often are the most deadly and dangerous because of their dishonesty with themselves. Because if you lie to yourself you cannot help but also lie to all others too.