In some ways when we are conceived and born we are sort of "Shot out of a Cannon" so to speak with our genetics and dispositions there inside us. I found that after surviving whooping cough and Blunt Trauma Childhod epilepsy that I was different from most people. One way to put this is: "The Shit had already been completely scared out of me by whooping cough and Blunt Trauma Childhood Epilepsy" so I sometimes was sort of scary to people because I had stopped being afraid of death and to some degree because of all this trauma welcomed physical death instead.
So, even though I avoided death by accident or suicide because of being an intuitive the nature of my life was always sort of jumping off of metaphorical or actual cliffs into the water 30 to 40 or more feet below.
I was reminded by this when my daughter's boyfriend was traveling north from the SF Bay area with an enclosed Uhaul Trailer full of stuff for he and my daughter for their new place. We unhitched the Uhaul trailer and decided to go 4 wheeling in my Tundra in low range at about 1/2 mile per hour over 1 foot or more diameter rocks over streams and such to get to a place called Cliff Lake which was wonderful because no one was there at this pristine Mountain lake at about 6000 feet in elevation in Northern California. At this point my old type of adventurous self I saw in my daughter's boyfriend who was about 28 then. He climbed the cliffs which were about 30 to 50 feet in elevation and was going to jump off into the water. A friend in his 50s came over to me and said, "He's actually going to do this." Though I wasn't comfortable about this I knew he was his own man and had to let him be himself no matter the consequences but wanted to stay out of it so i wouldn't have to answer to my daughter if anything bad happened. So, when he jumped he was so high up that for balance he put his arms out just before he hit. He was okay except that he had to run fast to miss rocks under the surface of the water that he had to miss in order to be able to splash deep enough so he got bad welts from belly flopping his arms (just the arms outstretched against the hard surface of the water from that altitude. I was just grateful he had survived but I also knew he was like me in that I knew he had also jumped his snowboard 60 feet into the air in Colorado where he grew up. So, I knew he was very coordinated and a physical survivor of things most people don't survive just like me.
Also, my daughter is very coordinated and a total out of doors person too. So, we all understand each other a lot.
However, the point I think I'm making here is often my life was about jumping off of cliffs (both physical and metaphorical cliffs) and because of this it allowed me to make many quantum jumps that most people don't make because of fear.
However, God had already scared the shit out of me with whooping cough and Blunt Trauma childhood epilepsy. Death then held no fear. I think he knew what he was doing to make me the person he needed me to be. Fearless. So he could have me be the kind of person I have been.
There really were only two choices for me always, suicide or jumping off of cliffs for God. So, I see what God actually had in mind was me being capable of quantum jumps in consciousness so I could share these quantum jumps with all of you to help you in your lives.
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