Writing 5-28-10

Sometimes you need to talk out one thing or another that is bothering you or something you are trying to figure out about your life. And most of the time the right person isn't there because of timing, because they live 100 to 3000 miles away or more or they are now dead. Since I grew up an only child if I wanted to talk to someone it had to be my Nana(Mom's Mom) or my Mom or my Dad if he was there and if I could get him to talk to me sometime he wasn't working. Friends often had their own problems in which case because I had less physical problems in my life because my parents went to church regularly and didn't smoke or drink (or even eat meat or fish or anything else that walked, flew or swam) I would most of the time defer to my friends problems and help them with their issues. So all the people in my life whether they were related to me or not saw me like a brother that were in about 5 or 10 years of my age.

By age 9 I found I could write stories good enough for the teacher to single my works out to read to the class. And because until I was 15 I was pretty shy and didn't talk much, even though the 4 th grade teacher reading my stuff before the class made my face turn red and embarrass me, I realized I had a talent beyond being tall for my age and playing piano and until I was 14 violin with the school orchestra.
So in addition to playing piano for relatives and friends who visited my home I began to write for myself and others to inform or to entertain starting from about age 9 or 10. I  began writing in journals a lot because I could have imaginary conversations with different parts of myself being the characters I wrote about. Or they could be my parents or friends or relatives. Both my father and grandfather were storytellers of the old tradtional variety before Radios and TV. They would anthropomorphize  animals (Make them seem like the thought and felt like humans)  and tell all sorts of stories about the animals they saw in the forests or pets or those they hunted. So as a storyteller and then once I learned to type pretty fast in 7th grade I could get those stories down pretty fast. When tape cassette recorders 1st came out during the 1960s I used to record ideas and the best ones I would type up later.

But the stuff I kept the most was when I was trying to work out good reasons to stay alive on earth. This was extremely important for me from 21 to 24 or 25 when finally my girlfriend got pregnant and we married before my first son was born. So my first marriage was when I was 26 when my son was born. After my son was born he was enough reason to stay alive and to raise him right and I haven't had that much trouble staying alive for my son and other children.  At 62 my youngest is now 14 and I'm worried again about her growing up and my wife and I possibly being alone. So writing is one of my best friends to get me through this part of my life. It helps me through my parents dying (1985 and 2008) and friends and relatives dying (2001 to present at least 10 or more). So now I really am the patriarch of my family and so I have nowhere really to turn but to God and my wife and to my friends a little when they call or show up and spend some time with us. So writing helps one have a life they want to still live. Writing can help you make some sense of your life. Writing can fill your lonely moments and help you make it to the next interesting person you meet or experience you have. When you write you are completely unlimited and infinite if you let yourself be.