So Many Deaths yet my body still lives

I have died many many times in my life yet my body, by God's Grace, still lives on.

By the time I was 2 years old I knew that the only reason I was alive was by God's grace. This had sort of a crazy affect on me and seemed to make me a risk taker. It was as if since God was always bringing me close to death and then rescuing me at the last moment that I figured I might as well finish the job and accidentally go out in the process.

The first time I died inside I was two. I had whooping cough so I coughed until I turned blue and passed out. Then my body took over and I could breathe again. This happened over and over again until I learned at 2 that the way to live was to let go and die. Over and over again until I survived. Before the whooping cough I was a very intense demanding child. After 6 months of whooping cough I was beaten and was afraid of my shadow and especially open water like the ocean. I would look at the ocean and cry hysterically as a child looking at the Puget Sound in Seattle after having had whooping cough.

Next, at age 9 I was playing in too hot of weather with friends and everything turned yellow. I was terrified and so ran to my bike and peddled the 5 miles home to my parents from G Hill in Glendale, California. Luckily, riding my bike fast, the wind cooled me down and I didn't die of heat prostration. Instead I had a headache for 3 days.

The year before I had been molested by my 13 year old cousin but didn't know boys or men could have sex. I only knew that men and women mated not boys with boys. I had a lot to learn.

At age 10 I saw two dogs copulating and went home and went back to sleep after delivering my newspapers on my route at 6 am on a sunday. I had my first epileptic seizure. I woke with my head in my mothers lap. I was on the floor. My mother looked pale and scared. She said I had a bad dream. I had a bad dream about every 6 months until I turned 15 years old and had a seizure only during a nightmare at night each time. I thought at the time that someone or something was trying to kill me supernaturally, I was terrified and almost died each time, especially the last 2 times when I was 14. I got into my body enough and ran for my parents room. Unfortunately, my bedroom door was ajar and then end caught my nose and broke it. I woke up an hour or two later with my head surrounded by a pool of blood. I was shaking and completely traumatized. My father said, "Son, you've got to get some religion under your belt." I took him serious and applied myself the next year so when the next seizure tried to happen I invoked God into my body to live with me always. This worked. He's still here. But this changed EVERYTHING in my life. I was no longer me but God and me combined. At first I was scared when my appearance completely changed over the next two months and then many women started to fall in love with me. At first I was jealous because I knew that they were falling in love with God living in my body with me and not me. But soon I decided that if I had no choice but to live all the time with God living in my body with me that I would make the best of it. I would have fun being a man with God living inside of me 24 hours a day.

I became amazed at just how fun this could be. I looked around me at people terrified out of their minds trying to obey God. I thought this was so sad because I was able to live like an angel or Arcangel just by having fun serving God and seeing just how efficient I could do that. My Swiss background lent to this kind of ever increasing efficiency in having fun serving God. I called this the "alchemy of Joy". I saw this as a supernatural way to increase the fun of serving God and helping all beings.

But I was not through dying. I would not have a long lasting disease that I would need to recover from until I was about 48 or 49 but my pride as a man would die starting at age 18 and completely die at age 21.

I was excommunicated from my parents religion at age 21. It was 1969 and the world was changing and I didn't want to be a hypocrite like many people I knew of all ages. So I confronted the church leadership about this and was asked to leave. Churches then and now were not ready for this depth of honesty. This taught me more than anything else that organized religion was for me and most really intelligent people counterproductive to the survival of life on earth.

I saw first hand that churches that lied to their people to keep the money flowing in would never adapt fast enough to the changes that were coming on earth. It's still that way only now it is not just religions aren't changing fast enough for people to survive it is also all governments and corporations and most big companies worldwide. Without a mechanism to speed up important change based upon the survival of mankind and all life on earth, human life was either going extinct or back to the stone age.This was obvious to me in 1968and9 and it is still obvious to me now.

When God first came into my body when I invited the Being in 1963, God stayed and never left. At first I was terrified by this and then over time got used to it and finally became completely comfortable by the time I was 32 and met my first Tibetan Lama. Meeting this lama explained everything to me that I needed to know.

It was in Ashland, Oregon. It was winter time and I walked through the snow up to where the room where the Lama Gyaltrul Rinpoche was going to give a Thousand Buddhas Empowerment, I think it was winter 1980. As I walked into the room I experienced being physicially in two places at once. This experience was different than soul bi-location that I had mastered in my early twenties after God granted me the blessing to consciously soul travel throughout the Galaxy and through time. This was different than that. Looking back, I think the Lama simply brought the memory of a past life I had had with him and made it so real that I had two physical experiences at once. One was present day 1980 and one was some time between 1500 and 1900 in Tibet with him. I wore a loincloth and I looked down at my hands and they were a darker hue than my present lifetime. Also I was shorter than now(now I'm 6feet 4 1/2 inches tall). In the second lifetime I was shorter than the lama. He was obviously then my teacher and I was a cave yogi who was doing long term practices under his tutelage. He said to me, "You don't belong in any church. You are doing spiritual research for all mankind. You belong in nature."

When I reached my seat in Ashland I almost fainted from this experience. I had heard about people having experiences like this in conjunction with some lamas but since this happened effortlessly without any sort of struggle on his part or mine I was surprised in an amazing way. So I looked deep into what this meant. I thought to myself, "I must ground myself into the religion of America like I grounded myself into the religion of Tibet in that lifetime." I thought to myself, "What religion came up out of the ground in America?" Then I had it, native american shamanism was the only religion that came up out of the ground in America. So I asked then, "God, send me a medicine man to study with."

He arrived at my friends house within one week.

Three years later I knew it was time after my vision quest had led me back to Tibetan Buddhism. I reached out telepathically to the lama. He said, "You are not my student in this lifetime. You have a much different path this time. I will send you a teacher that you need right now." I said, "Okay." I picked the teacher up hitchiking toward my land on Mt. Shasta. The man said he was going to do advanced Tibetan Buddhist practices. I worried about this man as he was going to do these practices while in a tent and it was going to snow about 2 feet and I knew it would collapse the tent. So I left the man where he wanted to do practices in the middle of nowhere. But after it snowed two feet I told my wife, "I can't leave him in two feet of new snow because his tent will collapse." She agreed. So I went to him and sure enough the tent had collapsed. However, he was not scared, he was not unhappy about any of this. He was just glad to see me. I said, "A friend has parked his converted bus motorhome on my land and is storing it there for the winter. Would you like to stay there and teach me and my family about Tibetan Buddhism in exchange?" He said, "Yes. I'm authorized to give some initiations and teaching and I can introduce you within the next month to many lamas you have connection with in San Francisco, Berkeley and Santa Cruz, California. So this began a 5 month Odyssey of initiations from various lamas in California. Looking back on this initiations were given to me, my wife and family that were only usually given to monks and lamas over 40 or 50 years old.

They often said to me, "We are giving these powerful initiations to you because we don't want these teachings to be lost." So we received amazingly powerful initiations. My life has not been the same in any way since then. The initiations bring such primally powerful beings from throughout the universe to life here on earth the like of which I have never seen or heard of before. I think I could only receive these initiations because I am a very old soul who seems to naturally understand such things. Plus I remember several lifetimes in Tibet, Nepal, India and China between 1200 and 1930 which is when I passed on last in India after having been born in Nepal high in the Himalayas around 1850. Then I was born in Japan and then died around age 12 in Nagasaki in the atom bomb and was born in 1948 in Seattle, Washington, which brought me here to now.

The last death since my 1948 birth was when I was 49. The Dalai Lama often talks about how monks and lamas often die in their 49th year or barely survive it. I was no exception to this rule. When I thought I might die my wife insisted I retire. However, 7 months later I had recovered but by then I was retired. Recently, I learned that my thyroid glands hadn't been working properly since my middle thirties, so now it is like being about 30 years old again except with more pain from age all the time. But it is okay because I have had tendonitis since I was 30 from working doing electrical work, Cement work and Carpentry a lot during my 20s. In my late 20s I learned that I prefered to own my own businesses so I started owning and running businesses starting at age 28. This worked out fairly well for me and my family.

After my "death" at age 49 I received the "leisure to practice" which I had prayed for since my early 30s. Though it was a shock at first, I realized I could do much more for all beings by being in a constant state of consciousness like a generator of prayer 24 hours a day. I literally finally became a 24 hour a day householder yogi and like an electrical generator that kept increasing in size and output exponentially learned just how powerful the "leisure to practice" really is. There is literally no limit to how one can help all life by God's Grace.

By God's Grace my body still lives to do God's work. So many deaths yet my body still lives(By God's Grace).