Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I'm Okay

I was telling my now 35 year old son a story about me in college in the very early 1970s. I was partying pretty hard one weekend with friends and came home and I realized when I got home that I was just so scattered and hadn't slept in about 24 hours that I began to get pretty scared. So I went into my room laid down on my bed and put a pillow over my head and just kept repeating to myself, "I'm okay! I'm Okay. I'm okay." And just kept telling myself this for about 3 or 4 hours straight until I was "okay" again and I finally could go to sleep.

I told my son that that is how I saw religion generally. The hardest part is getting your subconscious to believe that it is okay. But if you can do that and keep doing that then you could live your whole life and be okay even if you were hanging off the edge of a cliff thousands of feet in the air blowing in the wind your whole life living hanging from a rope.

It's not what is happening to you physically. It's how you perceive what is happening to you.

The worst pain is not physical, it is the pain of loneliness and abandonment and rejection. Humans are naturally herd and pack animals. We just don't do well alone. So if we are alone we have to find a way to compensate for our aloneness. One of the ways is to keep telling yourself, "I'm okay" if you start to get too scared or to panic. Just say, "I"m okay. over and over again until you believe it. It's like parenting yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were a babysitter or your own father or mother or someone you trust and feel safe with. It doesn't really matter what is happening in your life if you can't feel your center or get to your center then what good is there in being alive at all? If you can't get to okay then what is the point? So Get yourself to okay. And if you can get to okay then you can get to ALL Right!

Life isn't easy for anyone. That is a given. But like the old rolling stones lyric

You can't always get what you want---But
"If you try real hard you might just get what you need!"

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