Putin's gymnast girlfriend gives birth to Putin's baby in Switzerland

But these are not normal times in Russia. Putin hasn’t been seen in public for over a week. This prolonged absence has sparked rumors that Russia’s long-serving national leader is ill. Or has been deposed in a coup. Or is dead. Or is visiting his alleged lover, the “extremely flexible gymnast,” Alina Kabaeva, who reportedly gave birth to a baby Putin in Switzerland today. Take your pick.
ReutersPutin greets Russian gymnasts Alina Kabayeva during a meeting with candidates to the Russian Olympic team for Summer Olympics 2004 at the presidential residence in Novo-Ogaryovo outside Moscow, March 10, 2004.
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